Monday, October 26, 2009

Birthday Bash

Who is teaching kids that it's awesome to smear frosting all over their faces?

If it's you, please stop.


Friday, October 23, 2009


Can we clean your desk?

No, thanks.

Why not?

Because then I won't be able to find anything.

Are you this messy at home?

Pretty much.

**Bring on the weekend! smile**

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Experiment

It started with my tiniest student asking if I slept on my back or stomach and went on from there.

Me: Usually my side, but sometimes my stomach.

Her: I sleep on my stomach, but last night I laid on my back the whole time. It was SO uncomfortable.

Me: Why didn't you just roll over?

Her: I wanted to try it out.

Me: Oh. You were experimenting.

Her: Yes, but I'm totally done with that experiment!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Line Leader

I pick them up when school starts and walk them into class. The one at the front was quite peppy today.

Me: Brrr! It's cold out here.

Him: No it's not. It's warm.

Me: You're warm? Are you insane?

Him: No...slash yes. *with big smile*

I don't make these up, I swear!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Drama in a Bowl

A girl brought in her family betta fish to hold down the post as the classroom pet next door last week. As my teammate set the bowl down she noticed a discolored spot on his back.

Girl: His name is Steve.

Teammate: Oh. Steve isn't looking too good.

Girl: I know. He has fancer...fish cancer.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Trash Day

I got my name drawn to win a garbology presentation to our class. The presenter passed out a piece of trash to each kid to talk about decomposition. Who knew a diaper could stir up such a rucuss? It helped that the dude handed it to a kid saying, "You need a diaper." (He had a pretty good handle on fourth grade humor.)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Geography 101

I asked one of my kiddos about his background and this was the ensuing conversation:

Him: Wellll, have you ever heard of a continent called Asia?

Me: Yes, I have.

Him: Have you ever heard of a country called India?

Me: Yep. I've heard of that, too.

Him: Okay, well that's where my aunts, uncles, cousins and all of them live.

Good thing I keep up on my geography studies. Whew!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Picture Day

Always organized chaos on picture day. We survived quite nicely, thank you. Managed to line up short to tall with minimal drama, get up on the risers and smiling, then off to individual shots. You wouldn't believe how pumped they get over those free personal combs. I was the last one through the line to claim my little known job perk: a free set of 5x7s and wallets every year...sweet! As I walked back to class I realized that my glamour shots will include both my staff badge and my fabulous personal microphone hanging around my neck. Why didn't the camera guy tell me?!?! *sigh* I guess there's always next year.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Fish Funeral

Last year my fabulous team teacher had the brilliant idea of getting a class fish. If she was getting one, I'd get one. We all know how fourth graders feel about fairness. A couple of months into the school year "Mario" wasn't looking too good and, sure enough, I got the pleasure of flushing him a few days later.

I told the class about our loss and suggested that maybe we should have a funeral. They brainstormed what they would want it to be like. We ended up deciding to wear all black and make a shoebox tombstone that we put tributes and farewell notes in. (I had to veto the idea of flushing flowers down the toilet.)

All was going well until the kids were walking out the door and one of them looked up at me, sighed and said, "I can't believe we're having a funeral on my birthday."

Bad teacher! Very bad teacher!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Subway Promoter

The class is chatting while we shift gears between subjects and I hear:

"Five...Five dollar...Five dollar footlongs. Five dollar footlongs." A few others even chimed in at the end.

Brings a smile to my face and to Subway's marketing department.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Clever Little Creatures

Keeping track of me out of the corner of her eye she said, "I made you live in a house with your dog alone." I heard it and gave her a quizzical look. Kids were packing up to go home all around as she lit up realizing that I'd been listening. She turned to me and repeated herself, "I made you live in a house with your dog alone."

"What?" I asked.

"In my Sims game."

"Oh!" (My understanding of this computer game is that you get to build your own little world and life.)

"Do you live alone?" She asked slyly.

"No, I actually live with my boyfriend."

"Hmmm. Guess I'll have to go home and make a boyfriend."

Crafty way of enquiring into my personal life in my estimation. Never underestimate the cunning of a nine-year-old.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Toots Twice

Event A: When asked why he didn't want to sit near everyone else in class, the kiddo replied that he farts a lot and and doesn't want the other kids to have to smell it. Quite considerate, don't you think?

Event B: Another fourth grader squatted down while cleaning his ever-messy desk and let one rip. He quickly excused himself and then added, "That one snuck up on me."

Yes, these things really happened on the same day.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Tiny moment

Me: What a crazy day we are having!

Tiny, fabulous Asian girl: Talk about it!

Sometimes it's the little things.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Isopod Escape

We got a new science kit this year that includes bugs (students: yeah! teachers: boo!). Teams carefully constructed these foil "runways" (basically rectangles with sides) and set up three equal piles of soil-one wet, one moist, and one dry-to find a bug's preferred environmental element. Then we added a few isopods (a.k.a. potato bugs, pill bugs, or rolly pollys) to the runways. When I returned in the morning, I discovered that not only are isopods great roller-uppers, but they are also very skilled climbers. I found a couple on the counter, one on the floor and was left to wonder where almost all the rest had gone. One was found in the sink by a kiddo getting a drink later in the day...don't worry search & rescue was successful.

Next year higher foil sides. And you thought the kids were the ones doing all the learning.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Teacher Work Day

No students today so I'm forced to draw upon my stash of tales from years past. I don't think you'll mind too much.
A student lined up in front of me waiting for me to take them in after recess is complaining about how a dress was the only clean thing she could find to wear this morning.

Me: What's so bad about a dress?

Her: Welllllll...I just can't really run and express myself.

Who says these things?!?! (But so true!) Definitely priceless.